Let me preface what I will be saying over the next few weeks with an acknowledgment that these statements may sound very odd to some people who read them. Our society has had a definite change over the last few decades and not necessarily a good change. There was a time in our history when children were reared, pointed toward the Lord and instructed that as our Creator, He was the only one worthy of our worship. Children were expected to contribute to the healthy atmosphere of the family and “pull their own weight.” There was a time when parents wanted their children to have a better life than they did but yet realized that some things only come with time and hard work. Now, in a large number of American homes, it seems that it is the children who are the object of worship. Some parents try to relive past successes through their children, either in academics or athletics. Spiritual upbringing is a nice addition if you can manage it. There is also a very real mindset in some homes that nothing (or very little) should be expected of children. I agree that children should have a childhood, but giving little or no responsibility or having no expectations of someone until they are into their 20’s is taking this concept more than a bit too far. May I be so bold as to ask you to take personal inventory of your beliefs and mindset about child-rearing? Then, compare that mindset to scripture since that is our only “always-true” resource about parenting.
Psalm 127:4 says “As arrows are in the hand of a mighty man; so are children of the youth”. So in what ways are children like arrows? Our first comparison between arrows and children is that an arrow must be straight to fly true. It is a very real fact that a crooked arrow will not and cannot follow a straight path to hit its target. Children are the same, but unfortunately, they are not naturally straight. When that nurse placed that newborn baby in your arms and you looked down into that beautiful face, you may have thought, “Oh, look at the face of an angel!” Unfortunately, the Bible tells us that all men are sinners and while that newborn is innocent at that moment, it’s not long before that wicked sin nature shows its ugly face. Many children’s first words are “MINE!” All children are born “crooked”, and we received the mission to straighten them as much as possible. The problem is, we too have a sin nature and must tackle the task with much prayer and dependence on God’s Word. Straightening a crooked stick isn’t easy and must be done while the stick is green, because if it is attempted when the stick has dried out too much it can just snap. I have a climbing rose bush in front of my house. I wish it would just naturally grow up the trestle and give me beautiful blossoms but it doesn’t work that way. Sometimes, when I’m out of town a while (or just lazy) a branch will get very long and grow in the opposite direction of where I would like it to be. So, I can either cut it off and throw it away or I can bend it, force it and tie it where I want it. I have heard parents of 3, 4, 5 , 6 , 7 year-olds say, “I don’t want to be too hard on them (speaking of discipline) because they don’t understand.” They may not understand they are doing wrong if their parent hasn’t told them they are doing wrong. But any parent who has told their child “No” and then watched their child look at them, grin, and then do whatever they were told “no” about knows that the child understands and is trying to manipulate the parent with that cute smile. Those sticks dry out quick. We had better be just as quick in our process of straightening. Look at scripture and read about “the rod.” It’s interesting that the Bible says that foolishness is driven out of the heart of a child with “the rod” and that a parent who doesn’t use “the rod” doesn’t love their child. I trust you know the difference between Biblical discipline of a misbehaving child and child abuse. That should be apparent when God’s Word tells us that we are showing love when we discipline.
The second comparison of arrows and children is that arrows must be sharp if they are going to stick into their target. Education is a very important factor to consider for your children. All three of my children are products of Christian education, while my wife and I are both products of public education. There has been a debate raging in our country for about 30 years or so about which type of education is best for Christian children. Parents of public school children are many times thought of by Christian school and Home school parents as negligent and perhaps even heathen, while sometimes the public school parents are urging their children to be witnesses in their local school. Christian school parents tend to get it from both sides. They may be thought of as fanatics by public school parents and compromisers by home school parents. Then homeschoolers have been given a stereotypical image of isolated, fanatical, and out of touch. It should be noted that these viewpoints are sometimes accurate and sometimes inaccurate. My point is that each and every set of parents need to be fully persuaded in their own hearts that they are doing God’s will for their own children. I will say this about education, though; it wouldn’t matter if my child were being public, Christian, or home school educated, if I believed that my son was lagging behind in his education and this would hinder his ability to do what God called him to do, I would make a change. I would also make a change if the school was trying to bend my “stick” contrary to God’s truth. Finances shouldn’t be an issue. We just finished over fifteen years of monthly Christian school payments on a missionary’s salary. If it is God’s will for your children to be in a school, He will provide the resources necessary to do His will. Sometimes that means re-prioritizing and doing without something that our society has defined as a “need”. You may decide that a tuition payment meets God’s goals for your family better than a second car payment or a mortgage on a house big enough that all the kids can have their own rooms.
Come back next week as we continue our look at Psalm 127:4.
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